Six months ago I determined to write a blog a day, with room for a day or two here and there to accommodate life. Life ended up not as I planned, at all. Going almost homeless for six months certainly put the ca-bash on having a schedule, of any sort or kind.
When I first began blogging about a year ago, I was disabled. I still am in recovery from a life-saving surgery many years late, but I am getting better. Basically all my adult life has been lived through the mechanisms of a diseased body that was dulling my light, but no more. My light grows everyday, now that I perceive protection by my angels of mercy and understanding. This means I have had to surrender desperation and begin the spiritual practice of embracing what good I could find in my situation.
Alas, as God created me, God has enacted miracles, making sure I lived, in this body. I was forced to come face to face with myself. I didn't like me, thus I became very angry. Why was I supposed to be alive? Why did God save me through many near-death experiences? Why did I have to live to be different among-st my peers and family?
I totally blamed everyone else and especially the powers that be, for allowing the situation to have happened. Then I began to listen to self-development experts and energy healers, who were teaching the core principles of what had helped them through their life-harrowing experiences. Immediately, I learned that first of all, not being of sound heart, mind or body, it was no wonder I was making bad decisions,that were natural determinants of my future. Nobody is to blame. Second of all, when I gave up for a while, it was completely understandable. Nobody is to blame.
That was a wow moment. Until then, I actually thought I was to blame for making myself ill on purpose or that God wasn't watching out for me and I deserved to suffer; total misnomers, based on perception. I also blamed all those whom I considered contributors to my demise, making me solitary and mean. Of course, add to it that I have not worked for income in years.
I applied for social assistance in 2007, when I no longer could work because of illness. After appealing many times plus a court hearing in front of a judge, I did not receive any social security assistance. Then evictions began in 2008 and continued, until last summer when I found myself in a friend's tiny, tiny, rv; no refrigerator, no cooking and limited room. I knew I had hit bottom. In all my life, I never would have believed that I could ever, ever, end up in a situation like that.
I was still too ill to work, my few family members were and are, all too messed up themselves to help me, my friends burnt out on me, my former fiance went to a shelter and blamed me. Heavy, heavy stuff that had the potential for me to have ideas of not wanting to live.
But, here I Am! At this time, I am not quite out of where I've been, to be where I want to be, but certainly I Am renewed, faithfully determined and mostly rejuvenated. Strange things have happened to deliver me to this fresh, new outlook, thank you, God!
Whilst in the rv, when I could get my 'ol betty computer to work with the wifi, I was led, through my internet marketing, to those who are of service to humanity, utilizing the internet and social sharing platforms.
All who are on an internet marketing journey, must be for success, promoting chosen products; there are some who are of service as well. I am talking about those who have shared with us seekers, the illuminated path, that leads to the end of the rainbow where the pot of gold awaits, personally inscribed, for those of us who reach the destination. Victory!
Mentors and lightworkers, on our Great Mother Earth, have offered ways to our own personal success. I have learned to know what I need and want, to be my own parent, to show up for myself and to take action when necessary to create change. I am no longer waiting for someone to step in and give me the things I know I need, to resonate a life of quality and personal peace. Instead, I Receive.
Big Deal! I Receive...
As it turns out, in researching, then doing, self-development, it became clear that me, myself and I, helped to create the conditions that surrounded me, in order to wake myself up! Whew! I'm still not living the perfect life, and granted, where I am is still temporary, but as I am moving again, I will be able to call my new place, home.
Self-development is the key. One healer I listened very closely to, who has done about ten thousand healings, has basically proven, that our adult blueprint is created before the age of seven! Then I heard the same thing from other healers that have nothing to do with each other, but have happened upon the same fact. This means time to heal what happened then, in order to move on to what happened after, to move on to what is happening now!
This is when my transformation really began! Even though it has now been about 3 months of training, the secret has been in my Now! Now is where my breath is, Now is where my changes happen! Indeed, I am a different person than whom I have been all my life and I like Me!
Alas, I had a history of self-sabotage, meaning I was setting myself up for failure, in my chosen career of ethical internet marketing. I am still considered a newbie and still haven't made my first thousand. All that's alright, because without having this new solid foundation of faith in myself, all the money in the world would have disappeared and my patterns of self-defeat would have kept reoccurring. Instead, I isolate the bad, twisted memories and core-beliefs of myself, then heal them, all the way back, even to previous generations. I can recreate my life based on how I see it, Now!
Receiving the goodness in life was a great big hurdle as I didn't think I deserved wealth and health, but all of the sudden, upon change of perception, there has been abundance without rules or limitations. Next steps are continue blogging and marketing for success; I do have a blog under jenna t webb, my internet marketing name, but here is where I really get personal. This is an offering to myself, to let it out. I can be of service as well. I have a lot to give.
I have posted the link to one of the groups I am a member of that has been instrumental in teaching me how to live as a vibrant, healthy, wealthy, person. I strive to share my personal abundance and look forward to getting ahead.
Finally, I am full of gratitude for God's protection and unconditional love, my self-love, love for my friends and family, love for the animals, love for Mother Earth and all inhabitants, trees and all.
Blessed, I Am.
Jennifer T Webb
Jennifer T Webb
http://www.youwealthrevolution.com
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